One of the few quotes that I can remember (and still think of in certain situations) from studying English Literature at school is from “The Rivals” by R. B. Sheridan. From my hazy recollection, it occurs in the run up to a duel and Acres, the farm hand, says, “My valour is certainly going! – it is sneaking off! I feel it oozing out as it were at the palms of my hands!” Quite brilliant. I can smile now as I recall having on such occasions actually looked at my hands to see if I can see it oozing out! But if you don’t have that self belief, can you ever feel it deserting you?
I received a lovely email from a person a couple of days ago. I happened to see a post from her on the CIPD website and she seemed to be struggling in preparing for an exam. I offered to help, she accepted, and we had a number of telephone coaching sessions – on a no payment basis – leading up to her exam. I have never met her before and it may well be that we don’t communicate again.
She wrote, “I really wanted to thank you again for all your help. I don’t find very often in life that people are prepared to give up so much time and effort to help a stranger, and I really appreciate it. As I said before I believe it made a vital difference in allowing me to believe in myself a bit, and even if I don’t pass the exam, I at least feel that I did everything I could at that point.”
Two reasons for sharing this. Firstly, it is a great example of what I was trying to explain I wanted this blog to be all about in my last post – this will possibly make it clearer to you! The second aspect relates to confidence. It never ceases to amaze me just how many very capable people need that little bit of support and encouragement to start believing in themselves. And once they do, things just seem to start happening for them …
I was out coaching a person yesterday, and the person I was with also falls into this category. Someone who gets very little praise at work yet who has so many positive qualities. Working very hard, but no one is encouraging her development. Her company is not getting the best out of her. She is not as motivated as she could be.
There is a great site at http://www.businessballs.com that has all sort of tools and ideas for so many different development situations. If you think you could benefit from believing in yourself a little more, or if you are just interested in different ideas, have a look at what it has to offer at http://www.businessballs.com/selfbelief.htm .
Paul
Tags: feedback, self belief, self development