How often do you use the word \u2018Try\u2019 when you are telling yourself or others that you are going to do something? And just as importantly, what are you really saying? For such a small word, it can have hugely debilitating effects.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The use of the word comes up in many coaching sessions I undertake \u2013 and that\u2019s because managers and leaders have a propensity to use it. Think of the last time you used it, and then think about what you were really saying.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sometimes when people use it, and they say that they are going to \u2018try\u2019 and do something, they are really sharing that they don\u2019t really have the confidence or belief that they can achieve whatever it is. They are already giving themselves a way out, telling themselves that it\u2019s alright if they don\u2019t achieve whatever it is they are going to \u2018try\u2019 to do.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
On other occasions it can be used more dishonestly \u2013 and sadly I have to admit to using it in this way myself. For example, if my wife asks me to do something, and I know there is little possibility of me doing it due to other \u2013 as far as I am concerned \u2013 more pressing or important activities, I will respond that I will \u2018try\u2019 to do it (I\u2019m hoping and assuming that this is not too much of a revelation for her, but I also know I\u2019m reasonably safe as she doesn\u2019t read my blogs \u2026 well, I don\u2019t think she does \u2026). And guess what \u2013 it usually doesn\u2019t get done.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The common denominator between the two examples is that the task or activity we are considering will probably not be achieved. As a rule of thumb or a default position, I find that the more a person uses the word \u2018try\u2019, the less they will accomplish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
There was some American research undertaken a number of years ago that supports my rule of thumb. It found that where a manager says that they are going to \u2018try\u2019 to undertake something, they are approximately 50% less likely to achieve it than when they leave out the word \u2018try\u2019. Unfortunately, I can\u2019t re-find the source (but if anyone has it please let me know!).<\/p>\n\n\n\n
You have probably heard the proverb, \u201cIf at first you don\u2019t succeed, try, try and try again\u201d. According to Gregory Titelman\u2019s book, \u201cThe Random House Dictionary of Popular Proverbs and Sayings<\/a>\u201d, it has been traced back to a book called \u2018Teacher\u2019s Manual\u2019 by the American educator Thomas H. Palmer, and it was designed to motivate American children to do their homework. Palmer (1782-1861) wrote in his \u2018Teacher\u2019s Manual\u2019: \u2018Tis a lesson you should heed, try, try again. If at first you don\u2019t succeed, try, try again.\u2019 I wonder whether it had the desired effect?<\/p>\n\n\n\n A more positive quote, or way of looking at matters, can be found in the Star Wars film, \u201cThe Empire Strikes Back<\/a>\u201d. Yoda<\/a>, the small and strange looking Jedi Master is training Luke Skywalker. Yoda sets him numerous challenges and tests to help build the boy into a Jedi. When Luke is given one particularly challenging task, he responds to Yoda that he will \u2018try\u2019. \u201dNo,\u201d Yoda retorts, \u201cDo, or do not. There is no try.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n And Yoda is right. There really is no try. We do something or we don\u2019t do something. And so many thousands, possibly millions, more goals would be achieved every day if we stopped talking to ourselves and others in terms of \u2018trying\u2019. <\/p>\n\n\n\n There is, however, one situation where a \u2018try\u2019 is an achievement. This is in rugby. A \u2018try\u2019 is scored when a player touches the ball down behind the opponent\u2019s goal line. Why was that word used? Well, a \u2018try\u2019 originally didn\u2019t get any points. When it was first introduced, the only way to score points was by kicking a goal \u2013 and the \u2018try\u2019 simply gave the team the opportunity to kick for goal and for points. The game has moved on since then, but the terminology has not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But do you need to move on with your terminology? How often do you \u2018try\u2019? Does it add to your successes or stop you from achieving? Listen out for the next time you say it. Reflect on it. If necessary, plan to use a different phrase in future and evaluate how it impacts on your performance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Paul<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" How often do you use the word \u2018Try\u2019 when you are telling yourself or others that you are going to do something? And just as importantly, what are you really saying? For such a small word, it can have hugely debilitating effects. The use of the word comes up in many coaching sessions I undertake […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[5,6,8,30],"tags":[217,218,147,219,35,111,108],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/breathe-pod.org.uk\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/201"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/breathe-pod.org.uk\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/breathe-pod.org.uk\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/breathe-pod.org.uk\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/breathe-pod.org.uk\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=201"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/breathe-pod.org.uk\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/201\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":202,"href":"https:\/\/breathe-pod.org.uk\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/201\/revisions\/202"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/breathe-pod.org.uk\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=201"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/breathe-pod.org.uk\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=201"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/breathe-pod.org.uk\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=201"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}