{"id":328,"date":"2012-06-27T08:46:03","date_gmt":"2012-06-27T08:46:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/breathe-pod.org.uk\/blog\/?p=328"},"modified":"2021-06-09T09:21:57","modified_gmt":"2021-06-09T09:21:57","slug":"how-similar-is-parenting-to-coaching","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/breathe-pod.org.uk\/blog\/index.php\/2012\/06\/27\/how-similar-is-parenting-to-coaching\/","title":{"rendered":"How similar is Parenting to Coaching?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

My last blog related to Khalil Gibran <\/a>and his thoughts on Teaching, from his book, \u201cThe Prophet\u201d. This blog relates to his writings on Children from the same book. This passage was where I first learned of Gibran. Sara, who I had trained as a trainer and then stayed in contact with after the course, gave me a framed copy of this passage together with a copy of the book for my birthday many years ago. The passage moves me every time I read it:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAnd a woman who held a babe against her bosom said, \u2018Speak to us of Children\u2019. And he said:<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your children are not your children.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

They are the sons and daughters of Life\u2019s longing for itself.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

They come through you but not from you,<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

You may give them your love but not your thoughts.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

For they have their own thoughts.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

You may house their bodies but not their souls,<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

You may strive to be like them but seek not to make them like you.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let your bending in the archer\u2019s hand be for gladness;<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

For even as he loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Read it again \u2013 I\u2019m sure you can\u2019t have taken it all in from one reading!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ever since being introduced to this passage I have used it as my strategy for bringing up my children. It was very much what I think I already did, but it sums up how I wanted to be as a parent so beautifully. It also highlights how easy it is to be unhelpful to those we seek to assist in growing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And I say \u2018growing\u2019 rather than \u2018growing up\u2019 intentionally \u2013 because I often wonder how much this passage relates to training, coaching and other developmental activities? Does is encapsulate Carl Rogers approach to such relationships? Gibran was very good friends with Jung \u2013 how much of Jung\u2019s influence is present?  Most importantly, can it be used as a backdrop to what an exceptional coach or trainer seeks to achieve?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As a trainer or coach, my clients \u201ccome through\u201d me when they attend a programme or a meeting. I show them unconditional positive regard, but I hope I don\u2019t give them my thoughts. I should not \u201cseek to make them like (me)\u201d. And they certainly must be responsible for their own arrows, although hopefully I can assist them in making their bows more stable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So is the passage really about children? Or is it also about teaching, training and coaching, or life or relationships in general?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I struggle with these questions every time I read the passage \u2013 which hangs on the wall in my office. But what I don\u2019t struggle with is the brilliance of the writing, the beauty of the metaphors and the wondrous skill of Gibran\u2019s storytelling.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Paul<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

My last blog related to Khalil Gibran and his thoughts on Teaching, from his book, \u201cThe Prophet\u201d. This blog relates to his writings on Children from the same book. This passage was where I first learned of Gibran. Sara, who I had trained as a trainer and then stayed in contact with after the course, gave me […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[5,8,13,14,30],"tags":[156,226,217,285,310,309,194],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/breathe-pod.org.uk\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/328"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/breathe-pod.org.uk\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/breathe-pod.org.uk\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/breathe-pod.org.uk\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/breathe-pod.org.uk\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=328"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/breathe-pod.org.uk\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/328\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":329,"href":"https:\/\/breathe-pod.org.uk\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/328\/revisions\/329"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/breathe-pod.org.uk\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=328"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/breathe-pod.org.uk\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=328"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/breathe-pod.org.uk\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=328"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}