My last blog post introduced Transactional Analysis (TA). Here is a little more detail on the ego states themselves.
The Parent ego-state:
This contains patterns of behaviour from significant authority figures (primarily parents or carers) including morals and values, their idea of right and wrong, good and bad.
The Parent state has two sides to it:
1. The Critical Parent (CP) – typified by statements such as, “You shouldn’t”, “How dare you”.
2. The Nurturing Parent (NP) – with “I’ll take care of you”, or “You did really well”, being statements that could be driven by a person being in the NP ego-state.
A typical tone of voice could be stern, condescending (CP) or caring, sympathetic (NP). Gestures might include frowning, crossed arms, finger pointing/wagging (CP) or supportiveness by arm on shoulder or pat on back (NP).
Often these characteristics are the same as or similar to the influential people from a person’s early life.
The Adult ego-state:
This is the clear thinking, rational, analytical way of dealing with the reality of the present.
In the Adult ego state (A) the individual is commonly problem solving or dealing with information in some logical way.
Characteristics are typically the calm and even tone of voice, asking open questions, seeking and evaluating options and proposing alternative courses of action.
The Child ego-state:
This does not mean behaving childishly but is concerned with behaviour and feelings as they were experienced in childhood.
The Child state has two sides to it:
1. The Free Child (FC) is spontaneous, fun loving, uninhibited.
2. The Adapted Child (AC) – Typical characteristics of the Adapted Child are, “please”, “sorry”, “I’ll try harder”; whining voice or mumbling, perhaps taunting or manipulative; polite; spiteful; looking away or down.
As the constraints of dealing with others (particularly authority figures, either through their positions or their behavioural characteristics) take effect, the Adapted Child (AC) emerges.
Summary of drivers
Put very simply, the ego-states are driven by the following drivers:
- Parent driver = beliefs
- Adult driver = thoughts
- Child driver = feelings
None of the ego-states is intrinsically better than any of the others, but each is appropriate in different situations and will have a different effect on those with whom we communicate.
And I’ll explain more about its use in managing communication and conversations in my next post.
Paul
Tags: TA, Theory, Transactional Analysis